Sunday, March 21, 2010

The only thing that matters is what tomorrow brings.

I thought that this would be easy, to forget about you but it's not. I thought that I could try to shut you out of my life and forget about the feelings I had for you but I can't. I don't feel the same way I did but they're still there, just in a smaller size. I still want you, more than even I can imagine but at the same time I don't know if I want too. Things get so complicated when I'm with you, it's like you suck someting out of me and I become someone I'm not. Everything is so, weird. Oh God, I wish I could be like I am with my other friends when i'm with you. All giggly and all over the place. I want you to see that, and I'm gonna try to show you that..

Sometimes the world is so unfair, sometimes love is so unfair, sometimes, no, very often life’s unfair. I wish, that I could have a book to look at when something goes wrong, so you’d know how to fix it but there isn’t any book like that, you’re suppose to figure that shit out by yourself.

But what if you can’t figure it out, what if everything you’re doing just falls apart, everything you’ve worked for, everything you build up so you could be that person you are today. What do you do when it all falls down, how do you keep it from falling? How do you protect your heart, your life, your everything? How do you do that? I’d like to know , I’d like to learn ‘cause going through life without knowing anything sucks. Waking up in the morning not knowing if you’ll survive this day or not, it’s scary. Lie in bed at night, trying to sleep but you can’t, ‘cause your terrified you won’t wake up the next morning. Going through life being paranoid, thinking that everyone is after you, that everyone is trying to kill you. Always thinking the worst of people, how do you manage to get over it?

How do you manage to live a life without these thoughts? How do you get rid of them, ‘cause I want nothing else but them to go away.

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