Why do I do this to myself? Why do I allow myself to fall?
I don't want boys in my life, especially him. But here I am, making plans to see him. Here I am talking to all these boys that makes me feel a little bit more special, letting them touch a part of my soul. They make me smile, but none of them makes the butterflies in my stomach come alive, none of them makes the electric shots rush through my body like they do when you really like someone. None of them makes me feel the way I really want to feel. I want to feel real love.