Friday, October 22, 2010

I'm only gonna break your heart.

Sometimes, like very often, you can compare your life with lyrics. Because sometimes it's so much easier to explain feelings with a little help from songs, and this lyrics is explaining a lot in my life. A lot of who I am.

"If you fall for me, I'm not easy to please. I'm gonna tear you apart, told you from the start, baby from the start. I'm only gonna break, break your, break, break your heart."

And that's what it feels like right now, that I'm just gonna break his heart. I haven't even given him a fair chance, I haven't even tried to let myself fall for him because I'm afraid of losing someone else if I do. I don't understand why people fall for me. I don't understand what I do to make them fall because deep inside I don't want them to, and those I want to fall for me - they walk right out of my life without saying goodbye or treat me like shit. They just break my heart into even smaller pieces than it already is, and they make it so much more harder for me to let anyone else in, to let anyone else give me the chance to love and to be loved. They make me destroy myself.

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