I shouldn't be this happy, or have these thoughts about another boy - longing for his attention. I shouldn't have butterflies in my stomach, or a big fat grin on my face. Not after just a month apart. Or should I? Is it okay? Is it okay to long for someone else, to crave their touch, their attention. Just wanting to be near him, talk to him, feel his body heat without touching him because I'm standing so close.
But yeah, of course its still hard. I'm not a fucking machine, so yeah. I'm still sad, I still think about him sometimes but not in that way. I don't miss him. I miss someone. I miss cuddling in bed with someone, I miss spooning, I miss hugging, I miss touching, I miss kissing, I miss those things. But not him.